Troubled? Verbalize – or,
Learning from 3-year-olds
By Shlomo Maital

Sometimes, we seniors can learn from Gen X and Y parents.
What do you do when a three-year-old has a nuclear meltown/tantrum? And you don’t know what the cause is, or what to do?
Verbalize. “Use your words,” our grandson’s mom tells him. “Say it in words.”
Three-year-olds can talk. And sometimes, they can say what is bothering them, clearly enough so we can find a remedy.
Now, what about us adults? Maybe we don’t have such melt-down H-bomb tantrums – but we do get the sulks, the blues, the downs and the ‘leave-me-alones’.
Verbalize. Ask yourself, as you would ask the 3-year-old: Hey, verbalize. Say it in words. What is your problem? What is troubling you? Sometimes, stating the cause can help find the cure. Often, verbalizing is tough…. Takes some deep soul-searching. That’s a good exercise.
I looked up some research on tantrum suppression. Mostly, it stated: Ignore it. If you don’t reward a tantrum, it won’t recur.
Oh, yeah? That scholar probably doesn’t know many three-year-olds. And wow, can they ever sustain a tantrum…seems to last forever.
For kids: Verbalize. Tell us in words. At worst, it can stop the 150-decibel screams. And at best, we can find an answer. Verbalize — For ourselves, for our own tantrums, as well.


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