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 The Secret of Happiness: Hiding in Plain Sight

By Shlomo Maital

      Happiness is…  a warm puppy?   It is for me.  Our mixed-breed Yorky snuggles at my feet at night, after a flurry of good-night face licks. 

      Susan Dominus has written a great magazine piece for the New York Times magazine, on decades of research on what makes people happy.  Thousands of people, interviews, questionnaires, longitudinal studies tracking people almost from birth to death, observations….. [1]  

         Hey!  Scholars!   It is hiding in plain view.  Honest.

         Last week, in the Parshah (chapter) of the Bible Jewish people read in synagogue on the Sabbath, we read in Leviticus 18:19:   Love thy neighbor as yourself.  The Golden Rule.  But importantly, this has an important context.  For 18 verses before the Golden Rule, we are told to help the poor, pay fair wages, tell the truth, not to lie, leave gleanings in the wheat field for the needy, ….    In other words, how to be kind, compassionate, helpful, loving, loving,  to others – ALL others, not just our loved ones. 

          The final editing of the Hebrew Bible, the five books of Moses, probably took place during the Jewish exile in Babylon, 6^th to 5^th century B.C.E.    (Deepy religious Jews believe the Torah, Bible, was given in totum to Moses at Mount Sinai).

          So, what did the Harvard happiness studies find?  Happiness is….healthy, vibrant relationships with other people.  Love thy neighbor.  

          Not for a moment am I denigrating this research that ended up finding what we knew, or should have known.  As an economist, I spent 40 years reading and even writing research that involved truly unimportant questions.  Happiness is a worthy topic.  We owe thanks to Professor Martin Seligman, who as President of the American Psychological Association years ago, used his bully pulpit to refocus psychological research, from mental illness to mental wellness.  Positive psychology. 

            So, yes, happiness is a warm puppy – and a warm relationship with friends, family, and everyone else. 

            Here is a small example.  In Israel, when people dismount from public transportation (buses),  we almost always say thanks to the driver.  I did this morning.  Try it sometime. 

           Another example.  I bought some take-out food,  waited quite long for it, and then, instead of rebuking the cashier or grumbling, smiled at her and said thanks.  She smiled back.  Have you noticed?  If you smile at someone, they will almost automatically smile back.  And then, you have reciprocal smiles, rather than frowns. 

           Love your neighbor.  It’s not an abstract theory.  It’s an action item.  And it works!   

[1] Susan Dominus.  “How nearly a century of happiness research led to one big finding!”.  New York Times magazine, May 1, 2025.   “Decades of happiness studies have identified a formula for happiness, but you won’t figure it out alone.”