How to Bounce Back

By Shlomo Maital

  Let’s face it.  Stuff happens.  Bad things happen to us all, including us good people.  So, what is the key to resilience – bouncing back?

  Writing in the New York Times Wellness department (a really interesting and useful department), Eric Vance offers three tips.  They make sense.  Here they are:

  1. “Identify what brings you meaning.

“The biggest piece of a good life is having some kind of sense of purpose and something that you’re invested in and committed to,” said Sherry Hamby, a psychology professor at the University of the South in Tennessee who studies resilience in impoverished communities.”

      This recalls Victor Frankl’s logotherapy – how he found meaning in the worst of situations, in a death camp. 

         Make meaning, not money,  Apple guru Guy Kawasaki counsels.  And start early – start now.  Find the answer to the question, why were you put on this Earth?

  • “Understand that no one is an island.

       “We as humans are very social creatures,” said Kathryn Howell, a psychology professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. “So when bad things happen to us, we want to be together and connected to others.”

         Resilience is crucially helped by the support of friends and family.  Make sure you have an ecosystem of love surrounding you, well in advance.  A study of Israeli soldiers in wartime showed that those who served in tank crews that were ‘organic’ (teams they had trained and worked with for years) did not suffer wartime post-trauma, while tank crews assembled hastily, at random, from strangers, suffered severe post-trauma – they did not have the security of those they know wrapped around them.

  •  “Find what keeps you balanced.

     “It turns out the kinds of tools I thought were crucial for resilience — breathing techniques, exercise, time in nature — are further down the list. Self-regulation methods can calm you down or help you through the day, experts say, but they can’t always carry you through a crisis.”

      What helps you in stressful crises?  I love classical music – nothing composed after 1800.  The ‘organized silence’ of Bach is calming.  Find thing that keep you balanced.  Maybe a run in the park?  Walking the dog.  Prayer?  Everyone has a ‘balance approach’.  What is yours?  Keep it handy for times of need.